This is like the THIRD time I’ve had a dream about zombies who only eat vegetables. And yet, for some reason, I’m still terrified and running away from them. It’s like, deep down, I think I’m made of vegetables.
And then I also wonder, why, if they only eat vegetables, are they all covered in blood? Is it actually beet juice? Are they putting ketchup on their leafy greens? That’s gross.
And also, how are they multiplying if they’re not biting people? Is it like, if you eat from the same head of lettuce as a zombie, then you’ll turn into a zombie too? If that’s the case, then why am I so afraid?? Just don’t eat the lettuce! Look, I’m doing it right now. I’m not eating lettuce.
Also, on a sad note, TSGITW moved to Nova Scotia. And yet, we’re still supposed to meet for coffee in like, a day. I’m curious to see how you’re going to drive from Nova Scotia to Starbucks that fast, TSGITW. Do you even know how far away that is? I’m starting to think you’re not as smart as I claim you are.