Luray Caverns! Also, I’m the Whitest Person in America.

Q and I went to Luray Caverns last week, which was awesome.  I hadn’t been there since I was a kid.  Stalagmites and stalactites and such.  It’s almost hard to believe that it’s real as you’re walking through it.  My favorite is still the “fried eggs”–

–which totally look like fried eggs except they’re not, they’re rocks, so don’t eat them because you might break your teeth and also get yelled at by your 16-year-old tour guide.  Licking them is also not okay.

I also noticed that some of the stalactites above us had holes in the center.  This bugged me because I wanted to know WHY they were hollow, but Q said that asking him repeatedly didn’t make him suddenly know the answer and so I made a mental note to google it later, which I forgot about until right now.  Brb.

So, apparently, these are “soda straw” stalactites, and they have holes in the middle because water runs down the inside of them and deposits rings of calcite at the tip.  I also learned that I got a “cave kiss”, which is when a drop of water falls on you from one of these soda straws, which sounds a lot more romantic than me screaming that I probably just got a billion-year-old bacteria in my eye.

Q  convinced me to leave my digital camera at home for this trip because I spent too much time messing with it and retaking pictures when we went to the aquarium because they were blurry or off-center, so we each got our own disposable camera instead, and in the end, Q’s film was mostly “attack pictures” of me, in which he’d yell ATTACK! and then I’d look like a deer in headlights and see spots for five minutes:

Where is my mouth

Whitest. Person. Ever.

Eventually I learned to just stop looking at him.

"Stopppp itttt."

They also have a garden maze right next door to the caverns now.  The bushes are eight feet tall so you can’t see over them, and they’re grown on fences so you can’t climb through them.  We actually got pretty lost for awhile and it was kind of embarrassing because there were a bunch of kids that came in after us and beat us to a couple of the goal posts.  In the end though, we made it out before them and waited at the exit to make fun of them when they finally came out.  Just kidding, I would never taunt children.  Instead we went into the gift shop and I got a hat that says “Get Lost” which is almost as awesome as the magnet Q got from the caverns that says “got rocks?”

The end.

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2 Comments

Filed under Adventures with Q, Attack!, Luray Caverns

2 responses to “Luray Caverns! Also, I’m the Whitest Person in America.

  1. Master Hellcow

    Great pictures. Too bad you didn’t have the foresight to bring some fried bacon and toast in your pocket that you could lay down next to the eggs when no one was looking. That would have been a great picture.

    Damn it…now I’m hungry.

    • sawingonajawbone

      DUDE. You are such a genius. THIS is why you lead the Hellcows. Next time I make it to Luray Caverns (which probably won’t be until I have children, which will be awesome because I will be such a Good Example), I am totally bringing bacon.

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