I’m Not Dead! My Computer is Though. And I Got Fired. Out of a Cannon. Just Kidding About the Cannon. I Just Got Fired.

I have been computerless for A WEEK AND A HALF.  I was starting to lose my marbles.  I even went to the library to use a computer.  I even tried to post from my phone, which didn’t work and will probably cost me like five bucks anyway because I don’t have any sort of plan for internet usage.  But now I have a computer, praise Jeebus!  At last, my arm is complete again! Y’know, like Sweeney Todd?  Except with a keyboard, not a razor.  And I type with one hand, so it would be sort of accurate if I stood by the window and held my keyboard up and squinted into the gloom and shouted, “AT LAST, MY ONE HAND IS COMPLETE AGAIN!”  Man, I really like that movie.  It’s so gory and it’s really weird to see Johnny Depp singing and I skip all the songs when I watch it.  Except the one where they’re singing about putting people in meat pies.  Meat pies is people!

So, I got fired a week and a half ago.  You may or may not know me, but if you don’t, let me tell you, I am not the kind of person you fire.  Okay, so I might be a little biased, being me and all, but I care about my job, no matter how lame, boring, mindless, or tedious it may or may not be, because it’s my job, and I’m getting paid to do it.  I try to do my job well because I want to feel like I deserve my paycheck.  

I didn’t get fired for how I did my job.  I got fired because someone above me, who didn’t even work in the same building, didn’t want me there, and care though I may, no one is perfect, and if you make it your job to look for a reason to fire someone, you can almost always find one.  I won’t bore you with the details.  I shouldn’t post the details on the internet anyway because I’m still trying to figure out how to fight it, and if I even want to bother. I’m going back and forth between wanting to stand up for myself and wanting to just put it behind me and move on.  I feel betrayed and angry.  

It’s been a bad week.  But now that I have a computer I can start righting the situation.  Somebody give me a job.  I like office work because I’m a dork and I love to organize things, and type things.  I don’t have a degree.  I learn fast.  I’m good with people. Can I fax you my resume?

This week wasn’t all bad, actually.  I got to spend a ton of time with Q, and we went to the aquarium which was AWESOME.  When I get more familiar with this Mac thing, maybe I’ll post some pictures. Jellyfish, sharks, and rays, oh my!

Keep your fingers crossed for me in my job hunt.  Life is too serious right now.  I like to think everything happens for a reason, so maybe this is a good thing.  It sure is stressful though.  At least I only have myself to worry about, no kids or any other sort of dependents.  Except the kitties.  But they’re low maintenance and they probably won’t mind living in a back alley with me when I can’t pay my rent and get evicted from my wonderful apartment and oh god this sucks.

It’ll be okay.  At least I’m pretty.

Haaa, I’m kidding.  I’m totally not like that.  A used to say every day when she came in, “Hola, Sarita!  Como estas?” and if I ever said anything negative, like I’m tired, or I’m getting over the flu, she’d be like, “At least you look good.”  And she meant it.  And I thought it was funny.  I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather feel good than look good.



Filed under Poll Dancing for Tips, R.I.P. Computer, R.I.P. Job, Such Is Life, You Should Hire Me For Something

5 responses to “I’m Not Dead! My Computer is Though. And I Got Fired. Out of a Cannon. Just Kidding About the Cannon. I Just Got Fired.

  1. thesmartestgirlintheworld

    Hmm. How many more places can I leave you online messages, I wonder? Don’t think I won’t show up at your door singing showtunes because you know me. And I will.

  2. sawingonajawbone

    Mama mia! Mama mia! …That’s the only one I know. And that’s the only part I know. 🙂

    This whole situation is thermometer cactus. This new lifestyle of mine is preventing us from developing the Slictionary. I haven’t thought of a single clarious thing in over two weeks.

  3. Master Hellcow

    Oh man…I recently went to the aquarium in Cincinnati, and the jellyfish were awesome. Especially the Moon Jellies, they had them in these backlit tanks, blue and green and red, and I loved them. I totally want a jellyfish tank in my office now. They can’t be that hard to care for, right? What kind of jelly do you think they like?

    I’m thinking strawberry. Who doesn’t like strawberry?

  4. sawingonajawbone

    Actually, *I* don’t like strawberry, thankyouverymuch. I mean, I like strawberries, just not strawberry jelly. I might like strawberry jellyfish though, I’ve never tried one.

    The jellyfish were totally my favorite part of the aquarium. Well, maybe not my favorite, they didn’t jump around and wave like they were people like the dolphins did, but they were really awesome, and it hadn’t occurred to me that you could totally have one as a pet until you said that and now I want one.

    What the hell do they eat?

    • Master Hellcow

      Ok, so I googled it:

      “All jellyfishes are carnivores.
      Most jellyfish are passive drifters that feed on living or dead preys: small fish, eggs, zooplankton and other invertebrates that become caught in their tentacles.”

      So maybe not so easy to feed, dammit. If I can’t give them fish food from a jar, it’s too much work. I guess I need to start dating a marine biologist, so they can take care of them for me.

      Once she finds out my name is Divad, she’ll be putty in my hands, muahahaha.

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