First day back at work today.
My boss: “Hey, did you look over that deposit list and figure out where M&T effed up?
My boss: “Should I ask you later?”
Me: (shuffles some papers, looks at the wall) “Yes. Ask me later.”
My boss: “You okay?”
Me: (resists urge to oink) “I only had nighttime cold medicine.”
My boss: “…You took nighttime cold medicine.”
Me: “Bananahammock, right?”
My boss: “What?”
Me: “I said, today is awesome.”
My boss: (looks at clock, it’s 11:00 a.m.) “I say, old chap, you take off in about a half hour and say you worked a half day.”
Me: (he didn’t actually say “old chap”, but I totally heard it) “I can’t. Margaritas with L at 5:00. Bam.”
My boss: (turns into a squid)