Well, I’m a little embarassed. I’m also a little teapot.

I may have been a little overdramatic with all this “I’m going to die” stuff.  My mom says I would know if I was dying if the stuff I was coughing up was green or yellow.  I can’t say that I’ve actually looked at it, because that’s icky, but it doesn’t feel green or yellow.  And I would like to continue to imagine phlegm (pronounced ‘fleggum’) as a cute little green monster.  P was all, “Well sure, that’s what I imagine, because of those Mucinex commercials.”  I was like, “NO, that’s Mucous.  He’s not cute and has a gravelly voice, and is all, ‘Hi I’m Mucous and I’m being all pervy in your lungs.'”  Phlegm (pronounced ‘fleggum’) looks more like Mike from Monsters Inc.

Yesterday I did in fact try to make a cardboard fort, for all you doubters out there.  I haven’t left my apartment since Saturday and I’m going bananahammock.  I have a ridiculously large pile of flattened cardboard boxes behind my couch because I’m too lazy to take them down to Recycle, but I do not, as it turns out, have enough cardboard for a people-sized fort.  I eventually just set the “roof” on a chair, and now the cats are sitting under it.  Bully for them.

L, I don’t know if you read this, but I’m starting to wonder if the corner of my desk is chewy also.



Filed under Cold Medicine + Tequila = I Totally Think I Feel Good Enough To Go To Work Tomorrow

2 responses to “Well, I’m a little embarassed. I’m also a little teapot.

  1. thesmartestgirlintheworld

    Of course I read this. I was jealous that you were sharing your rapier wit with the rest of the world so I stalked you until I found it. Which wasn’t all that hard because you live like, 500 yards from me. But I digress.

    Haha, you made a cat fort. Treestump. Are you feeling any better today? I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you, &c.

  2. sawingonajawbone

    Hahahaha. I love you. I am still trying to cough up my lungs, but I thermometer should’ve gone back to work today, but instead, I stayed up all night and I have a mossy story to tell you. And also you’re probably going to punch me in the face for it. But this is neither the time or the place. I will tell you tomorrow. 🙂

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