“WHY ARE DC’S BLACK CHURCHES UP IN ARMS?” asked the newscaster. “FIND OUT AT ELEVEN.”
Oh, I will tell you why they are up in arms. They are up in arms about JESUS.
So, my mom and I were talking about this house we’ve both had our eye on for a long time. (This is Jesus-unrelated.)
“I wonder who lives there,” my mom said.
Then we said at the exact same time:
Mom: “We should figure out how to be friends with them.” / Me: “We should kill them.”
Mom: “Uh, y’know, be friends with them to get in their will.”
Me: “You can’t get in a stranger’s will.”
Mom: “Sure you can, if it’s like, an old person, with no family, and you help them out and keep them company.”
Me: “Yeah, or you push them down the stairs.”
Mom: “How would that help you get the house??”
Me: “Then it would be for sale. Or I don’t tell anyone. They don’t have family, right?”
For THE OLD PERSON.