I Will Kill You And Move Into Your House

“WHY ARE DC’S BLACK CHURCHES UP IN ARMS?” asked the newscaster.  “FIND OUT AT ELEVEN.”

Oh, I will tell you why they are up in arms.  They are up in arms about JESUS.

Did anyone notice how I anonomized the hand?  Hahahahaghaa.

Ha!

So, my mom and I were talking about this house we’ve both had our eye on for a long time. (This is Jesus-unrelated.)

“I wonder who lives there,” my mom said.

Then we said at the exact same time:

Mom: “We should figure out how to be friends with them.” / Me: “We should kill them.”

*awkward silence*

Mom: “Uh, y’know, be friends with them to get in their will.”

Me: “You can’t get in a stranger’s will.”

Mom: “Sure you can, if it’s like, an old person, with no family, and you help them out and keep them company.”

Me: “Yeah, or you push them down the stairs.”

Mom: “How would that help you get the house??”

Me: “Then it would be for sale. Or I don’t tell anyone. They don’t have family, right?”

The end.

For THE OLD PERSON.

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Filed under Easy Ways To Get Exactly What You Want Out of Life

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